I Am a Woman

Allow me to introduce you to a beautiful and talented woman,  Leandra Botha. Leandra was one of the participants at our recent PIN Code program in Stellenbosch. For most of her life, she’s trusted her head, rather than her heart. She believed she needed to be strong, athletic and competitive in order to stand out. God was so loving to show her that she is more of a heart person than the head.  Now her life purpose statement is”to reveal God’s heart to others”. Here’s a Poem she shared with me after the course, something she wrote a while back on her journey towards healing:


I am woman
and I have a dream.
So as I close my eyes
to breathe in this melody
of flowers and rainbows and butterflies,
 I’m reminded of when days were kinder.
Above me an eagle soars in majestic wonder
casting a humble shadow over my face,
and for a second – but captured by eternity- our worlds collide.

I am woman
creative, gifted, deep
but trapped inside this warrior heart.
My beauty in exchange for survival dreams filled with barren reality.
My unbelief sees only walled cities and giants,
so I’ll swear to silence
I’ll wear these lies.
Let all hope bleed dry.

I am woman
and I’m leaving my things packed, just in case.
I’ve sacrificed my vulnerability on the altar of getting by.
With every burning tear these words cement my stand
‘they’ll never see me cry!’
So for every soul-piercing challenge, my reply- what I cannot touch does not exist
what I don’t understand I simply deny.

But then…
from somewhere, from everywhere
this whisper of hope – confusing, a second chance? Yes, yes maybe – wait.
This is the right side up?
hope – for me, one embrace away?
then a smile, a sad smile
maybe mocking laughter awaits my surrender?

But then again…
I have to, I have to believe
maybe bleeding will awaken this monotonous beating within
I have to risk it all-enough!
Stop this reasoning. this blistered heart is desiring a long forgotten freedom, a forbidden luxury.
This sure is a far cry from victory
but, I’m coming up for grace filled air.

So with both hands I surrender, coming naked and undone. God, breathe me to life
please. one word, one embrace- oh Merciful One!….

I am woman
healed, precious, alive
-loving these new wings- This eagle’s soaring
higher and higher, forward, onward casting a humble shadow over your face.
This -me- a tangible witness of His faithfulness,
of His grace.



LEAVE A COMMENT if you are touched by her words….