Tag Archives: time management

Why I Embarked on a Social Media Fast

How the idea came about…

I usually start the New Year with a Daniel fast. One of my words for 2021 is to be “sober-minded.” As I meditated on this, It became clear to me that I needed to declutter my mind so that it can become more spacious, quieter and focused. One of my main motivations was to  focus on a few, high priority commitments, as a buffer against the tightening pull of distraction.

This goal will also bring tremendous value to my work as a coach. Coaching requires great mental acuity, especially in the light of the events and challenges of the past year. I wanted to minimize the avenues that require expending more of my mental and emotional energy. Working “online” takes energy, and so does being on social media. So I included social media to my daniel fast for the start of 2021, for the added benefit of decluttering my psychological space. 
The greater the psychological load, the more critical it is to intentionally detach and replenish.


Looking back, this was probably one of the most pragmatic decisions for 2021, given how the pandemic and political narratives have turbo-charged the atmosphere.


What did I practically do to abstain? 

So way back in January, I recall one moment when my husband asked (as usual), did you see the memes of Bernie Sanders making the rounds? I honestly said, No!
I didn’t just stop posting, I stopped using the platform. No lurking. No quick cheat-checking. I was off social media completely. 

 I deactivated my Twitter account, deleted Facebook and Messenger app, and deleted Instagram from my phone. Prior to this, I had deactivated news services from Apple on my phone. 
I did post an announcement in my Facebook group that I was going to be off for a while, but didn’t think it was necessary to make a bigger announcement about it. Well, perhaps I should have…the many check-ins I have been receiving has made people wonder why I’ve been quiet. 

Incidentally, shortly after I started the fast, my husband and I watched the Social Dilemma. It has made me think deeply (and I’m still reflecting) on how to deal with the manipulative and unhealthy aspects of social media. I also listened to Carl Newport, a computer science professor who makes a case against social media as a powerful form of distraction from fully immersing oneself in creating deep work. 

Was it easy? 

It was hard at the beginning, because my brain was programmed to scroll. I practiced sitting more with the awkward impulses and ignoring the automatic urge to scroll when I had downtime. I would literally feel the urge and then choose to let it go.

A few weeks into it, It was my husband’s birthday and it was hard not to post photos, or to write my yearly appreciation post to celebrate him. it’s been a yearly ritual that I enjoy.  Then a few days later, my son had a dress up day at school. He looked adorably cute and funny, I wanted to post photos for some good laughs. Again it was so hard to resist. I channeled the urge to a few friends and family members. 
Eventually, the urge started to fade. I stopped feeling the itch to reach out to check my phone first thing when I wake up, and I do not bother to check it as the last thing before bed.

After a few weeks, I realized that the number of people I thought I would really miss from not being on Facebook wasn’t as huge as I imagined. It would only be a handful. The most meaningful relationships I have didn’t necesarrily require Facebook. I didn’t have to be on it to keep those connections. Quality over quantity bears a lot of truth for me especially in this season. This motivated me to explore other ways to remain connected. 

Another relief I discovered was getting a good break from the constant emotional tugging, coming from other people’s posts whether sad, happy, devastation or surprise. Over time, it can be draining. It takes mental resources to engage no matter how little the attention you give! We are designed to care about others, it is in our nature. But constantly being tapped on the digital shoulder (as Carl Newport puts it) can be too much. 

Now, I don’t feel as attached to my phone as before. It’s such a freeing feeling to not check Facebook when I wake up!

How do I feel now?

Over 3 months into my social media fast, i am amazed at how normal life is, even without facebook, Twitter and instagram. I have reset my brain to a new way of living without social media. Now I read articles, listen to podcasts or simply sit with my thoughts. The calm is restorative. It feels good to relate with my phone as just a tool, not a hook. 
My mornings are serene and calm. The relentless background noise has died down. I have many moments of being at peace.
I also realized that I am no longer talking to the dead. Let me explain… Normal Relationships have a living phase and an inactive or dead phase. Some relationships are meant to die naturally but on social media, that boundary between the living and the dead seems blurred. We know cognitively that ghosts belong in another realm, except social media .One is regularly confronted with stuff from people you may not necessarily be relating with in real life… …This has freed up tremendous space for me to nurture my “living relationships” better. 
I do miss the value of reaching more people at a time, that has some utility. But in terms of deeper connections, it’s worth stepping back so that I can invest my time more effectively in this season. 

Here’s a summary of my takeaway…

  1. Deliberate disengagement has been very restorative for me. As I said at the beginning, disconnecting from the “hive-mind” has served me to become more sober-minded.
  2. It’s been a good reminder that the amount of time spent on social media is not proportional to the depth in relationships. The quality of our lives depend on the quality of our relationships. Less is more in this unprecedented season. It has forced me to raise the bar on quality connections and relationships.
  3. It’s ok to miss out, or to not know other people’s opinions. Actually, if you can tolerate the “fear of missing out,” the flip side to it is the the “joy of missing out.” My life feels fuller without the need to binge on everything going on in the world of social media. 
  4. It has helped me slow down my mental pace of processing and digesting information. I feel less urge to rush when writing an email or a text message. I also feel less inclined to share or post impulsively. Letting ideas brew for much longer adds more depth and perspective
  5. I am conserving mental and emotional energy. I am becoming more aware that energy management for me is more important than time management.
  6. My productivity has shot up. Interestingly, I am doing some of my best coaching and investing more time in my professional development. Mental focus follows visual focus. If you are constantly bombarded by information on the screen, it greatly diminishes your mental focus. According to neuroscience, eliminating visual distractions is key to mental focus. 
  7. I feel lighter and freer, with less need to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Social media gives one an oversized sense of responsibility. 
  8. I feel less Emotional Contagion – As humans, we tend to mimic (usually without conscious effort) the emotions and expressions of people around us. There are always potential triggers coming from the social media hive-mind. Social media has a way of carrying over emotional residue long after you’ve engaged there. It feels good to not be experiencing too much of mass emotion.
  9. I am also reminded that If I do not step up and do my best thinking and reflection now, I would be wasting a valuable opportunity that the covid crisis has presented to us. It takes time and intention to process major life events and changes. This is a major moment of change in many ways. 

Well, this is as much as I can write at the moment. I’m still reflecting and gleaning from the process…
I appreciate those who checked in, hopefully this blog gives some context. I still don’t quite feel like breaking the fast, but we’ll see where this goes. 
I may write a follow up blog in the future.