Tag Archives: Surrender

When The Dead-End Is The Way Forward

“What you think of as a dead-end may actually be a new trajectory.”

These words came to me as I saw a memory from about 5 years ago that came up on my Facebook. It was about an announcement I made over the house that we found, which was ideal for David and i to take our ministry to the next level in Cape Town, South Africa.

At that time, we were pregnant both physically (with a baby) and spiritually (with a vision). We needed a bigger house to welcome our baby boy into the world, and to continue to run our PIN Code program, a workshop that was growing fast. 

The house we found had the ideal two lounges that we envisioned – one for family and the other for training and a worship/workshop space over the weekend for many professionals and missionaries in our community who were hungry for more spiritual connection. 

The couple moving out showed us around the house. They were very pleased that we could enjoy the place where they called home for many, many years. There was a lovely park nearby, to take walks and to enjoy nature. It was the perfect scenery to feel grounded as a new mom. The lawn and backyard looked stunning. They even put in a good word for us with the landlord, who was very cautious about who would rent his home. He preferred to keep it within a small circle of trust. Some how, we made it into that circle. 

We were over the moon with a sense of being blessed. With a heart-racing with excitement, I started buying larger furniture for the spaces that we intended for training. I found incredible deals and stunning pieces.

 We met with the agent a few weeks later and signed the lease and paid the deposit. It was a larger amount than anything we had afforded up until that time in our lives as a couple. But we knew it was a time for growth and expansion, and God provided the money just in time. Nothing could have felt better – or so we thought.

Then about two weeks later, (literally a month before having our baby), we received an email from the couple who were moving out of the house that they are getting a divorce and are no longer able to move out within the time frame that we signed for. They (i guess one of them) would be staying indefinitely and they finished off, saying that we needed to find another place.

From being sweet, nice and helpful in our interactions, now we are sensing a potential fall out. It was a violation of our contract.

 I was furious. 

Here I was, heavily pregnant, AND we “paid” and signed the lease.

It’s now our house.

It is no longer their decision. 

We felt they were being incredibly insensitive to us, putting their needs above ours and leaving us without a choice. 

We replied to their email with a kind but firm tone that we are also in crisis, we are pregnant and so they must make alternative arrangements, the house was now ours. Even the agent agreed with us, and the friend who introduced us to them was in agreement.

Things started to turn ugly when we heard back from them again. They literally told us to go take a hike. I hate injustice, and I’m not the type that walks away from a fight. My human nature wanted to do something! It was really hard for me to back down. Plus, you don’t mess with a pregnant woman who has an over-abundance of hormones. She could launch you off to space even without a rocket. 

Now you have to understand that we had already given our landlord notice to vacate our current apartment, and people were already coming for viewings. We could potentially repeat the same injustice to some other tenant if we dug in our heels to stay, or we would have to move out and take anything we could as a temporary rental, without the luxury of choosing our ideal home.

I remember saying, I can now have a glimpse into how Mary, the mother of Jesus, felt when her due date approached and there was no room in the inn for her to have a decent birth. I pleaded with God, “please don’t stretch me like Mary. My baby is not Jesus. It’s too much for me as a first time mom not to be certain where I will nest before the birth of our first baby.”

We sought God together, and with our praying friends.

Even though we felt we were so right, we agreed God was saying… “Let it go”. 

No explanation, just don’t fight. 

So we did.

We asked for a refund and walked away. When you walk with Jesus, you learn that it’s necessary to surrender your rights at his prompting. After all, he was made the bad guy in our place, and he took it with great humility, all the way to the cross. 

As God would have it, our landlord offered us a beautiful 3-bedroom, 2 bath, 2-car garage home that was within walking distance from our current 2 bedroom apartment. It was much nicer and more modern than the previous one we let go. We moved in with ease and settled in very quickly. It was the smoothest move we have ever experienced. 

The short version of the story was that there was a surprise twist to it. Within months after having our baby and moving into the new house, it became clear that we would be moving to California, USA.

All along, God knew that what we thought as the next logical step to grow our ministry was actually not the direction that He had in mind for us.
As hurtful as the injustice was, we are deeply grateful that God used their selfishness to stop us in our tracks. We didn’t know at that time that our season in South Africa was coming to an end.

That “dead-end” and disappointment was actually the very thing that we needed. God saved us from putting too much energy, time and resources into pioneering our work in a different part of the city, because He was preparing us to move to a different continent. 

Sometimes when we are busy planning our lives, God may be preparing to redirect us elsewhere. 
Without the willingness to hold things loosely, we could have easily dug our heels in the sand and missed the new path of God’s invitation in our lives.

I hope that you can recognize and appreciate the wisdom and protection of God in what may have feel like a false start in your life. 
Closed doors are also an answer to prayer! God is sovereign and He guides us through open doors as well as closed doors. Trust God’s wisdom when your plans get wrecked. 

Some dead-ends are actually an invitation to a new trajectory in life.