Tag Archives: purpose

Marking Our 10th Wedding Anniversary

We celebrated our 10th anniversary on February 24, 2021. There’s something significant about the number 10. For example, when assigning a rating from the least to the maximum, we usually use a scale of 1-10, 10 being a threshold. Number 10 finishes something, but it also marks the start of a new sequence. You can see this transition in numeric sequence – after a single digit 9, it shifts to 10, a double digit .  Number 10 connotes culmination, a completion and a readiness for something new to follow.  Number 10 also marks the end of one cycle of time and the beginning of the next. 

This makes our marriage milestone a significant one for me.

Although California winter is usually mild, our getaway weekend was exceptionally pleasant. We went to Half Moon Bay on February 27th to celebrate our anniversary. We loved the surprisingly stunning weather. The drive to explore new places was magical. We drove through nature – through heights and depths, like life itself. We were able to spend time on the beach, and also explored lovely places to eat. There were many moments that reminded us of the majestic beauty of Cape Town. 

We particularly loved spending time at Lemos Farm, where we did some family-friendly activities together. Nix self-drove a car (kids’ Jeep) for the first time in a designated road for kids. He was such a pro. It was his highlight for the weekend. 

I later found out that it was a full moon on the day we arrived there. It even rhymes: “Half Moon Bay on a Full Moon Day.”  I love synchronicities and If you know me, you know that I also love tracking full moon cycles. In our case, this full moon was like the completion of a cycle, a decade. 

This getaway was one among other celebrations that marked our 10 years of marriage. We actually dedicated the whole month of February to looking back and celebrating our significant moments and milestones. 

On the first Saturday of February 2021, we went to our garage and dug up our premarital workbooks that we both studied in preparation for getting married. It was fun taking turns to revisit our expectations, areas of differences and similarities that we wrote down before getting married. We also created a vision together through this process, and goals for our marriage. 10 years later, It was refreshing to see that at least 80% of the goals where fulfilled and the vision still holds true for us after a decade of many life changes.

I also found some other memories on my computer. I discovered a blog post that I wrote regarding our first year of marriage (but I never published it). I also found a folder with photos of our first year of marriage and Honeymoon. We spent over 3 hours just going through these, obviously remarking on how young and thin we looked. There were moments that we could not have recalled without seeing those photos, or without reading through our workbooks.  It was nice to see that there was once a time that it was just the two of us. Having said that, we realized how shallow our world was then without Phoenix. Those moments today feel like a mere drop in a cup, compared to our lives now as parents – a full cup. 

One of the blessings of going through the premarital counseling workbook is how it helped us notice the growth and challenges along the way. It was also useful in facilitating some key conversations. It helps to have a structured tool like this to get couples to listen to each other. Communication is always key for a healthy and thriving relationship. 

This process has surely inspired me to continue to create and document our experiences. It’s so easy to feel blurry about the past, especially after 10 years and with a having kid. One’s brain is hardly able to retain detailed information as one grows older.

Another exercise we chose was to read new marriage materials. So we bought two books to read through the year as an investment in our marriage. One of them is to help put stronger fences to protect our marriage from external factors. The second one is to help us strengthen our relationship from within. The second one has a cool story. We chose it because it has the “number 10” in the title – “10 Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage” by John and Julie Gottman. After we bought it, I came across a podcast by Brene Brown with the authors of this particular book. She had them on her show in February when the book was sitting on my desk. The synchronicity was delightful. It felt like a confirmation.

On another weekend, we dug up old photos of our dating season, engagement and our trip to Nigeria, when David formally asked my family for my hand in marriage.  We have so many photos and memories, again it took hours to go through – pausing and recalling stories and emotions. We also looked through our traditional wedding and our church wedding memories. We relished through the moments, looking at the special community of people that stood with us in celebration, support and prayer. It was deeply nourishing. 

Oh did I mention that we started dating in February, on Valentines Day about 12 years ago? So it made this year’s Valentine’s Day even more special, tying in beautifully with our month long celebration of our 10 years of married life. 

Another memorable thing that marked our 10 years was that I wrote down a list of 10 things I have grown to love about David. On the actual day of our anniversary, I gave him a pack of the cards, to read one a day for next ten days. On the anniversary day, David also gave me a really special gift. He outdid himself for our 10th anniversary. 

Looking back, one thing is certain. We are struck by God’s faithfulness and blessings in our decade of marriage. 

Fast-forward to the present… we are parents to an almost 6-year old, have moved countries, and have changed jobs and careers and are in middle life. 

So what’s next? Only God knows!

We are planning to update our vision and goals to reflect our dreams and desires for the next 10 years. 

Interestingly, we returned home from Half Moon Bay on March 1st, which symbolically represented stepping into a new month/season/chapter, as we close off the first 10 years of married life. The rest of 2021 and beyond will be  a new sequence.

We are looking forward to all that lies ahead, and can’t wait to look back 10 years from now.