From the moment I saw the trailer of “The secret life of Walter Mitty” I knew I had to watch that movie. The movie is about a person who was used to day dreaming, hoping for a better life. He wasn’t used to take risk. Until one day he finds himself oblige to risk in order to keep his job. After taking risk in different opportunities-sometimes he won sometimes he lost- he stopped day dreaming. At the end he realized he didn’t need day dreaming anymore as his life now was becoming excited.
During my transitioning time I was day dreaming, like Walter Mitty, waiting for the transition to be over to start to be happy. Now I can see that I do not need that anymore as my life is better of what I thought and was expecting for.
This does not mean that I stop making effort and pushing through in the new beginning. As I start my new life as a writer I find new challenges: writers block, writing in Spanish when all my previous writings were in English, fear that nobody will want to read or will find my writings interesting, fear I won’t find publishers who would like the book, fear that I won’t be able to finish the book, you name it! They are all there.
As all these fears started to rise and shout one louder than the other – boy were they competing!- I stopped writing and became frustrated. Soon I realized that I was sad, confused, looking for another job… I started to feel as if I was in transition again. With God help I could see that what was happening was that I was more comfortable with the feelings of transition – after all they were my companions for 3 years- than the butterflies in my stomach for the new. What do I do now?
I realized that renewing my mind was imperative, but how? I had to change the way and things I was thinking about and make space in my mind for new thoughts, ideas and projects. I had to change priorities and give a new order to responsibilities and demands. I had to say no to some good opportunities, friends to be able to see the new opportunities and meet new people who are in the writing business. Watched movies to see writers in action and was comforted by David Copperfield words – “I took with fear and trembling to authorship”. I even had to change my diet!
All this is demanding and sometimes I even fill my mind stretching as elastic. But little by little I start to find myself comfortable with the new, becoming friends with the butterflies in my stomach-they are dancing at this very moment- and realizing that all this is much better than the way I pictured it.
At times I feel as I did in my first day at school not knowing how the teacher was going to be like, if I was going to be smart enough for the task. Each day when I seat at my desk is a challenge; I am nervous, fighting doubts, I even have a new computer to which I am getting acquaintance to and sometimes the words disappear-just like now- but is going to be ok, after all we spend many hours a day together.
New beginnings are challenging. They demand effort and time, need space for mistakes and one need to learn to be comfortable with the process.
After all in the beginning we are all babies!
Written by Susana Nieczyporuk
Susana Nieczyporuk is a writer and motivational speaker on Identity and Purpose, Justice and Rights. She currently lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
