I Have No Plans for 2014!

As many of you, I gladly said goodbye to 2013 and said hello to 2014. Reflecting back on the past year, I truly can say I am so grateful for all that happened. When you come to think of it, a year goes by really quickly. I definitely would not have imagined all that would happen to me and what implications it would have on my whole future.

Last year was when my life was so planned and organised that it was easy to follow. It all made sense, just continue in the path you are on and you will reach your destination right? Well that didn’t last long, it was half way through the year that I felt God challenging me to broaden my perspective, to enlarge my vision. I had become too comfortable, relying on others more than on God to make decisions. I thought if I had it all figured out, it would be so much easier to find purpose.

 I was in a relationship, in view of getting married and moving abroad, it sounded all very promising. I had started to envision my life elsewhere and building it with a future spouse, enjoying ministry and family together. How many of you so far have also felt like finally life made sense when you found that special someone and could just picture your life five years from now? To be honest, I was so blinded by my own desires and ideas that I didn’t see this coming… My relationship came to an end, it was the most painful yet rewarding decision I made.

I had to open my eyes and realise that I was on the wrong path, relying on others and not God. It took a while for me to see that in life you can try to plan as much as you want but at the end of the day God has the last say. My only desire ever since I met Jesus is to be in the centre of His will. I never wanted to take a step outside of his will for my life. I was so scared by the idea of not doing what my Father wanted that I would put so much pressure on myself. Have you ever felt this way? You are at a crossroads, you don’t know which direction to go and you are so afraid to step in the wrong direction??? That pretty much sums it up.

Until I had to make a conscious decision to let my past go, say goodbye to all that I wasn’t meant to be holding on to. My ministry, my relationship and the comfort of being in a Christian community. Now what? All I can do is trust and believe that God has a plan step by step. He trusts me as a friend and confides in me. As I develop more and more understanding of this intimate friendship with my Lord and Saviour, I can live much more freely.

 I know now that this year will be different. I left all the past behind, learning from every valuable lesson whether good or bad. I have encountered the God of grace, of favour and of redemption and I know that everything happened for a reason. I have chosen to keep moving, to keep living and to not keep waiting… Life is meant to bear fruit, our lives are like trees. I personally want my life to bear much fruit, yummy juicy fruits that people can enjoy. Enough of letting the past hold me back or the fear of failure, making a mistake. I want to fully embrace this new life Christ gave me in this season where all seems to have been shaken, He is my rock!

As I write, I have no idea where my life is headed. I do have dreams for this year but they all lay at the feet of Jesus. I don’t need to understand it all, I just need to obey because I love my Father and I know He loves me. My God is the only one who knows what’s best for me. Let your will be done, not mine.